Learn from your Anger

I was watching an episode of Dr Phil on television and decided to take note of the important points as I understood them.

Anger arises when some expectancy is violated. We expect one thing and then get another.

I expected gratitude and all I got was a quick “thanks”

I expected to be treated with respect by my children but instead…..

If YOU are angry, you must ask yourself –
1. What expectancy of mine has been violated?
2. Do I have realistic expectations?

It is honest and helpful to acknowledge your anger. It is not wrong to feel angry. You may not feel so angry if you understand your expectations. You will want to keep some of your expectations and standards but you may wish to try modifying some of them consciously.

Challenge your belief structure (out aloud to yourself if you like) when you realise that your expectations have been unrealistic. If you find this happening a lot then you may want to ask yourself if you possess an over inflated sense of self-importance.

For instance, you cannot realistically expect everyone else to be on the same time schedule as you. You cannot realistically expect that your needs are more important than anyone else’s. You cannot realistically expect everyone to have the same sort of “common sense” as you because there is nothing common about commonsense (according to Dr Phil).

Instead of staying angry, why not request some laugh therapy